While I don't know how this relates to your situation, it felt right to share. I had my 6th of 8 chemo treatments for follicular lymphoma this past Tuesday. I'm in all day while others, w/other sorts of cancer, come & go for treatment.
At one point, a lady I'd seen before but not talked to at length sat in the chair next to me. We began chatting, & I learned she had ovarian cancer, considered incurable, & on chemo non-stop for 4 years.
She's probably pushing 70-give or take. To look at her, you'd think there's not a thing wrong - poised, always well-dressed & smiling, happy, friendly. When I've heard her speak to others, she's a shining light, offering support & good words at every turn. Never a negative word out of her mouth. The kind of person we'd all like to be, I believe.
As she & I spoke at length, though, she said she does gets down-isn't that human?! Sometimes she's at a point where she wonders how much longer she can do this, ie, ongoing treatments. We talked about how, in today's world where new drugs are on the scene nearly daily & possible cures & long-term remission options but a breath away, it's often not the science & medicine that keeps us going but, rather, the will to go on that does the trick.
And then this lovely lady smiled-such a beautiful, transforming smile-& she told me how she shakes herself out of sadness. She thought of all the folks in the care center who "had it worse" than she, knowing they cont'd day in/day out & she told herself that, yes, she could do it if they could do it.
For what it's worth, we can worry & worry but in the long run, life is often what we take from it in each precious moment. And worry is at least as bad, often worse, than reality, which helps us realize we can live in the moment & enjoy each goodness that each of those moments bring -- no matter what reality brings.
Blessed holiday season to you & your family. I'll keep you in my prayers.
> ~ Linda