Sexual Side effects

Treatment & Fertility

	Anxiety and depression can affect sexuality - PAL
	Will My Sexual Function & Fertility Be Affected by Treatment? -  cancer.org
	Q: Will chemotherapy affect my sex life? - cancerbacup.org.uk
	Q: My partner is having chemotherapy and we would like to have sex but we are worried that it may harm him. Ans: - cancerbacup.org.uk
	Q: Can I have sex during chemotherapy treatments? Ans: - advocatehealth.com
	Sex and chemotherapy - cancerhelp.org.uk

	Sexual relationships during chemo
	Sperm saving before chemo
	Chemo induced impotence
	Chemical castration in women  (fried ovaries)
	Chemo induced menopause"

Although I am not married, I can tell you that throughout my 7 rounds of CHOP if I had been married my wife would have been a very lonely lady. There was just no desire there. There are several things going on that all play a part.

First there is the chemotherapy itself. While I never got sick, and I called my CHOP a walk in the park, it still made me feel blah most of the time. To be blunt, the idea of sex just had no appeal throughout the whole six months I was on it. This did resolve itself several months after chemo was finished. I can't explain how or why, all I can say is that the chemo is wreaking havoc on the body and the hormones, are all out of whack, and the patient just has too much on their mind.

Then there is the emotional trauma, whether it is visible or not. Chemo is doing nasty things to our bodies, and our own image of our bodies. Everything from losing hair, to losing or gaining weight, to feeling fatigued, it all just adds up, and you start to wonder if you are the same person you used to be. The fatigue would be a major contributor to a lack of desire.

I know for me losing the hair was the worst part. I didn't mind being bald so much, but you lose the hair ALL OVER your body. It was so depressing getting out of the shower each day, and looking at the 12 year old pre-pubescent boy looking back at me in the mirror. I never much thought about my body hair before that, but I am a pretty sad sight when I am hairless. I would never have dared to let a spouse see me naked at that time :-) Luckily with CVP your husband is less likely to lose his hair. 

There is also the constant wondering if you are going to die or not, wondering if the side effects are permanent, and wondering if all your friends are going to abandon you, or if they will be supportive.

I don't think I ever sat around "thinking" about those things at the time. At least not consciously, but they are always at the back of your mind in some small way. So while outwardly I was a very positive unchanged person, inside I knew it wasn't all so perfect, and that just made me a bit more moody than usual.

At a time like this when there is so much stress in his life, his poor old brain is just not going to be in the mood, and when the brain isn't in the mood the body is not likely going to cooperate either.

Just be with him and enjoy ordinary intimacy like hand holding, hugging and just being together. Or explore new ways to be intimate without having to have sex. I expect you will find him returning to normal, or near normal a month or two after his last treatment. 

Just be patient and understanding and I am sure you will find your old husband again when this is over.

G D 
dx 09/98 follicular mixed cell, Stage IV
CHOP X 7, Radiation X 20; 09/98-05/99
SCT 04/17/2002