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TOPICS
Signs of Stress
| Suggestions for Relieving Stress | Resources
| Denial and Being a Caregiver
TOPIC
SEARCH: PubMed
| Web
Studies show that an estimated 46 to
59 percent of caregivers are clinically depressed. Caregiver
stress can be compounded by the stress of the loved one being cared
for: the stress felt by one partner (and how that affects
behavior) adding to the stress felt by the other. This
circumstance can form a negative cycle of escalating stress that can
lead to poor quality of life, health consequences, and poor decision
making.
The caregiver can become
overwhelmed by increased responsibilities, such as the need to care
for children or elderly parents, pay bills, maintain the house -
tasks that the partner may no longer be able to do because of the
condition or the treatments.
The caregiver might focus on the
needs of the patient and ignore their own health concerns.
Here we provide some background on
caregiver and patient stress, and resources that may help to relieve
it and improve quality of life.
Webcasts, Recent News & Outside
Resources:
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New: Good tips on managing
it cancer.net
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NCI Caring for the
Caregiver: Support for Cancer Caregivers - Cancer.gov
| PDF
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Balancing the caregivers needs: knowing when to seek support -
Healthology
Webcast
"Pure panic and fright and just feeling like nothing would
ever be the same again."
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Quality of Life: Cancer
patients, spouses report similar emotional distress,
U-M study finds eurekalert.org/
Interventions should be targeted to spouses along with patients
The researchers urge more health care interventions aimed
at emotional distress for
both patients and caregivers. At the same time, caregivers
should recognize they too
are emotionally affected by this illness and seek appropriate
support. Patients also
can play a role by encouraging their spouse to be actively
involved in their care.
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Signs of Stress and Depression
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Anger, anxiousness, or anxiety, and denial of same
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Feelings that are persistent, which diminish your
quality of life and ability to function:
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something bad is going to happen, or
feeling empty
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guilt, sadness, worthlessness, and/or helplessness/or pessimism
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fear of losing control
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Decrease in sociability
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 | Poor eating habits - overeating or appetite loss
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 | Physical symptoms that are persistent, which diminish
your quality of life and ability to function:
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fatigue and exhaustion
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aches or pains, headaches, cramps,
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digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
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Postponing or missing medical appointments
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Loss of interest in hobbies and activities that
once interested you (including sex)
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Nervousness and restlessness - tense
feelings, trembling and shaking
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Sleep problems (insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping)
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Thinking or problem solving deficits -
inability to organize or prioritize
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Thoughts of suicide or suicide attempts
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Suggestions for Relieving Stress:
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Gently invite the patient or caregiver to talk about his or
her fears and concerns.
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Avoid forcing a discussion about feelings and stress.
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Listen carefully without judging the other’s feelings, or
your own.
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Decide together what specific things you can do to be
supportive of each other.
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For severe anxiety,
reasoning might not be helpful.
Instead, talk with your doctors about the symptoms and problems
you notice.
Call the doctor if you
or your partner is having trouble breathing, is sweating, or feeling very restless
or showing signs of profound exhaustion.
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To reduce stress:
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Let yourself be alone for a short time to clear your head
- a change of scenery—even a brief walk can make a difference.
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Exercise has many benefits—it promotes better sleep, reduces tension and depression, lifts spirits, and increases energy. Think of ways you can fit exercise into your daily routine.
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Go to a movie or have lunch with a friend.
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Let others take part in the work of caregiving.
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Make list of tasks and put them in order of
importance. This can reduce feelings of being
overwhelmed and aid in helping others to help you.
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Talking about feelings that you or family members may be
having.
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Try to accept feelings of sadness and frustrated as being
normal.
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Decide together what specific things you can do to support
each other.
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Avoid blaming yourself and others when you feel anxious
and afraid.
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Try to identify the cause of the stress (usually a thought
or opinion) and talk about it.
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Try to learn about the disease and the treatment
options.
Often uncertainty and the unknown contributes to fear.
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Seek counseling and support groups. See Support
Groups
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Use prayer, meditation, or other types of spiritual
support.
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Exercise to promote better sleep, reduces tension and depression, and
increase energy.
Try to fit exercise into your daily routine. See Exercise
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Try relaxation exercises or activities: yoga, take warm
baths; read a book; listen to music;
see a movie with a friend ...
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Talk with your doctor about the possible use of medicine
for anxiety. See Anxiety
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Resources:
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New: NCI Caring for the
Caregiver: Support for Cancer Caregivers - Cancer.gov
| PDF
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: med.nyu.edu
This is "a preliminary screening test for depressive symptoms
that does not replace
in any way a formal psychiatric evaluation."
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Caring for the Patient with Cancer at Home: A Guide for
Patients and Families - ACS.org
Caregivers Often Neglect Their Mental Health - ACS.org
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 | Chronic illness interjects complications into marriage - about.com
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 | Cancer effects entire family - plwc.org
"Cancer doesn't happen to just one person. Cancer happens to couples,
families, and friends. The complex emotions and lifestyle changes that
follow a cancer diagnosis can be almost as overwhelming for family
members and friends as they are for the person with cancer. Cancer can
change the way you relate to your family and friends, and the way they
relate to you."
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Anxiety resource page - PAL
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Antidepressant information - PAL
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Counseling resources - PAL
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Meditation resources - PAL
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Support Groups - PAL
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 | This is an excellent radio broadcast on the impact of
terminal illness
on a marriage and family-- its a tough listen but very well done -
npr.org
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Patient Denial & Being a Caregiver
The question that follows
about a friends possible denial prompted interesting replies from
caregivers and patients in our support groups. You can review
the replies by clicking links below.
Lymphoma Support Question: Patient denial & being a caregiver
I have a close friend who was recently diagnosed with b
cell lymphoma. She is obviously shocked but determined to go
through treatment and get better. Are there cures for this
disease or is it just placed in remission or is treatment used to
prolong lives? Hers is the indolent variety as far as I know.
She has had it for a while and it is slow growing, so far in her chest
and abdomen and have spread to her lower lumbar region of her spine.
In addition, she says she doesn't want to know what kind of cancer she
has, she doesn't want to know what kind of chemo they are going to
administer and she doesn't want to talk about it or focus on it at
all. Is this normal? I want to support her but it seems
like she is denying what is happening while trying to project a
"I'm going to beat it" attitude. What should I do for
her?
Caregiver view - Daisy
| Patient view - Ronnie | Caregiver view - Hoda
| Caregiver view - MaryK
Patient view - Liz | Caregiver view - Karl
| Patient view - Betty | Patient view - Becky

Caregiver Tips
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Five must-do's when a loved one is ill cnn.com
Don't be afraid to intervene
Ask questions until you understand the answer
Remember that you know things the doctors don't
Temper your loved one's enthusiasm for quick fixes
Scope out the nurses
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